This is just for fun, that's all…

Metanoia, Not Paranoia

Greek, meaning “to change one’s mind.”

I had a tiny revelation the other day.  Or today, it doesn’t matter, I had one.

Things usually work out for me when I stop trying to go, to get away from them.  If I don’t like something, sometimes I try to run away from it.  And I usually get stuck in it even further.  Like that stuff in Harry Potter (the first book/movie).  The more you struggle, the tighter it becomes.  But if you relax, you just fall right through.

I have been trying so hard to get away from school because I don’t think that it’s something I want to do.  Honestly, it’s my back-up plan.  I’ve never been a Plan B type person.  Go after your passion.  Well, that’s not working out for me right now.  So my revelation was: why not just enjoy where you are?

It made me smile when I thought of that because, if it’s my back-up plan, it is something I can see myself doing.  Lots of people who go after their dreams don’t get it in two years, let alone three or four or even five.  Of course, I wanted to be different.  I’m always doing things people wouldn’t expect, or I try to do things people tell me I can’t do.  Because apparently, I have something to prove.  So I’ve been trying so hard to get my dream faster than other people, and it just isn’t working.  So, I have decided to…not stop going after it, but stop trying so hard.  I’m trying so hard to get away from where I am, that I haven’t really realized that maybe I have to stay here a little longer to get where I’m supposed to go faster.  See, if I were to keep trying, I might be prolonging getting my dream.  If I “stopped trying,” maybe it will get here sooner.

I have found something else that I like to do while being here.  A couple of things actually.  Other people may brag about how awesome their life is right now, but who knows how long that will last.  I’m not saying it won’t, but I’m also not saying it will.  Things happen when they are supposed to.  People change when they are supposed to.  And right now, I am supposed to rest.  Relax, and enjoy what is happening in my life.  Not a lot is enjoyable right now, which is why I should enjoy what is be enjoyed.

I don’t feel bad for trying too hard.  I bet I was supposed to, to come to where I am now, to go where I am going to go.

Things happen for a reason.  God allows things to come into your life for a reason.  To see what you do with them.  I have to admit, I haven’t done the right things with what I have been given for the past two years.  But you know, at least I figured it out now.  Better late than never, right?

Everything is going to be ok.

Good bye.


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