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Archive for February, 2012

Happy Leap Day

Yay, happy leap day!  I know someone who turned 6…  Well, you know what I mean.

I ran the board for my Live Sound class.  It was fun!

And that’s about it.  Oh, I applied for Home Depot.  Easiest application questions ever.  I have a good feeling.

And that is all.

Good bye.


Life Is Waiting For The Ones Who Lose Control

You say let it go,
You say let it go,
You say life is waiting for the ones who lose control.

Tenth Avenue North’s Mike Donehey wrote that.

So today I applied for a job. A busser at a restaurant. I had been one almost six years ago.

“Oh, no, that was six years ago. We don’t want you” said the guy who was interviewing me.

My question is, “…What? Has bussing really changed in six years?”

“Well, let us open, then reapply. If we think you’re trainable, we’ll hire you.”

So I get in the car, and Mom knew right off the bat that they didn’t want me. So then, she starts telling me that I’m not getting out there and getting a job and I’m not doing anything. I think I have applied to about ten jobs in the past three years. That’s…not a lot, now that I think about it. Anyway.  I told her, “This is one door that only God can open.  No one else can open it.”

“What job do you want?” she asks me.
“My dream job” I answer.
“And what is that?”
“Merchandise manager.”
“Oh, so we’re on that again?”
“We’ve always been on that.”
“Well, you should focus on selling the merchandise first, then becoming a manager.”
“There is only a manager, there are no assistants. The assistants would be the people who volunteer.” Like I know, right? But that did keep her quiet for a minute.
“Well, I wouldn’t hire you. You don’t look like what people want. You don’t look the part, and you’re not energetic, and you don’t like to help. I wouldn’t hire you.”

This is where I get out my list.

  1. First of all, no one is hiring me, because everyone I talk to, already have merchandise managers.  
  2. do help.  I do help count the merchandise and help pack it up and wheel it out.  Honestly, that’s the only thing they have ever needed my help for.  And you know what?  I do it.
  3. I can’t believe she said I don’t look like what people want.  Are you KIDDING me?!

So I go to class, and my friend, who just happens to be in a band, and who just happens to maybe, possibly, be going out on tour this summer, and who just happens to love me (I love you too), tells me that, if things go well and God pours his blessings on the whole situation, I just might become a merchandise manager this summer.


So I come home, and tell Mom, and I can tell she remembers what she said.

I swear to God.

The reason I put up that song is because I figure out that if I stop trying to get away from where I am, and just be glad that I am where I am, then things will work out.

Well, I just “lost control” of my life, and my life was waiting for that moment.

The minute you let go and stop trying, the faster that thing that you’re trying to get to, will come to you.  I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me.  And I can’t tell you how many times I forget this.  So please, for me, never forget this.

Good bye.

Four Hour Nap Anyone?

I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, thanks to our neighbors upstairs.

So I took a nap after I came home.

Then I watched some t.v.

Now I’m here.

Boring day.

Good bye.

Cleaning And A Concert


Mom and I cleaned the house (apartment).  Then we went to a near by church and saw Phil Stacey (see above).  I only knew one song of his, but it was a really good show.  He’s pretty funny.  His wife, kid, and parents came too.

And that was what happened.

Good bye.

Hunting Yet Again

Today, Mom and I went apartment hunting again.  One office was closed so we didn’t get to look at those.  But the other apartment really caught our eyes.  And, bankruptcy doesn’t matter.  Big plus.

If we do decide to get that one, I’m going to need a job.  I’m still waiting to hear from one place, and I just got another application from another.

Other than that, I’ve been watching Psych since 5.

So much for being boring, eh?

No, no, I’m not Canadian.

But I am finished.

Good bye.

Getting Dumber

I can feel myself getting dumber the more I stay on the internet.  I’m serious.  I’m not artistic anymore, not like I used to be.  I need to stay off one day and just chill by myself.

With that being said, I’ve been on a really big Justin kick lately.  And no, don’t mean Bieber.  I mean Timberlake.  Thanks to a kid in my Live Sound class who played a JT song.  I forgot how much I loved him…NOT.  I didn’t forget.

Anyway, I went crystal hunting today.  Haha, try to figure out what I mean.

Ok, I mean in Skyward Sword.

I am headed to my next Silent Realm.  Yay.

Good Lord I’m boring.

I have to fix the eye on my drawing, then I think I’ll be done.  Or maybe I’ll find something else to fix…

I’m done.

Good bye.

You Know What?

  • I’m afraid of being good at something.  Because then I’ll be expected to be good at it.
  • I have nothing going for me.  Except for writing.  And making eggs.  I make some mean scrabbled eggs.
  • I realized I’ve never been truly happy.


  1. Elementary school-If I wasn’t focused on my dad not calling me, I was focused on my mom not being happy with whatever guy she was with.
  2. Middle school-Being depressed and wondering if people cared if I was gone or not.  True story.  Also, Mom getting sick and weighing 90 pounds and wondering if she was going to live.  Oh, and my dad not calling.
  3. High school (Michigan)-Mom still being sick, and the guy that was around was making her that way.
  4. High school (Virginia)-Mom and I living with someone who never wanted us around (Grandma).  And the high school thinking I’m dumb.  True story.
  5. College-Well, you all know what’s going on with that.  But when I first got here, I never wanted to go to college, so there’s that and the fact that the person I came here for bailed on me.


  • God I hate it here.  But God, I know You want me to be here.
  • God I’m so unhappy.  It’s hard being unhappy because I thought I wasn’t supposed to live this way.  I’m not supposed to be suffering!
  • I yell at God because it’s easy, and I know He’ll love the same as He did before I started yelling at Him.  Plus it makes me feel better in the end.
  • I may seem like I’m jealous of people’s happiness.  But I’m not.  I’m happy for them.  I’m just mad that I’m not happy.
  • I need to sit down and edit my novel.
  • I need to sit down and write something.
  • I need to just be freaking happy, gosh darn it.

Good bye.

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